answering my on ?...

well, bottom line i never really thought about it much. i just figured two's enough for me. brian LOVES kids adores his own, but says i'm the one that does "all the work" so really it's whatever i want. but i dont' want it to be like that. i want it to be whatever the Lord wants. yeah life in general is expensive, kids, extracurricualr activities, college...all expensive and having more kids makes doing things more difficult. but who am i to say "no more kids for me/us" w/out searching for what the Lord says. i also think about those families who can't have kids or who have tried adoption and its not worked out for them. how blessed am i to be able to have children. it literally took me 3 years to get "used to " mattie. of course i loved her but i wasn't ready to be a mother. i wanted time w/ brian just the two of us. and those of you who know our story fully understand how important that was to me. well, we got about 5 months of that "alone time" then found out i was pg. happy yes. excited yes. then she came. and the tears of joy came then tears of "not ready for this" came. i wasn't in depression but was not ready for all that goes along w/ being a mother. which time took care of itself obviously:) by the time i "got used to her little sweet very active self", i was ready for ryder. only tears of joy this time. i say all that to say... where ever the Lords leads we'll go. life is too short to take it so seriously. and i have a tendancy to WORRY about everthing. so thanks to my friends that left the comments....much appreciated and very helpful!