just wondering what my friends thoughts on this "topic" were. my thoughts later. comment away friends....seriously i'd like to know what y'all think. FYI...i'm NOT preggo but this has been on my heart lately...
update...
as of saturday morning i've heard from leah, michawn, and mer! connie...melissa your thoughts. anyone else who reads my blog... got an opinion? like i said in my response to mer...i'm still praying and searching. yall's respnses so far have an underlying theme...let the Lord guide you. so much easier said than done...
Friday, February 1, 2008
when is your quiver full.
Posted by Steph at 10:04 AM
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8 comments:
Love Vanilla Ice...had to buy an old-school CD a couple years back. It's a Vanilla/MCHammer CD...has their best hits on it. :-) Funny. Sometimes you just gotta get your high school fix.
Quiver full thing...girl, you know I'm totally undecided. What I mean is that I have no idea what God wants us to do about the whole birth control thing...whether to use it or not...whether to ever consider something like a vasectomy or not...blah blah blah. But, what I am pretty sure of is that everyone just has to decide on their own. I, at this point, don't think that it is, across the board for everyone, cut and dry...that everyone who is married is supposed to just have however many kids that God sends their way. May be totally wrong when I get to heaven, but that's just how I see it now. I know some really Godly people who thought they heard God when they were pregnant with their 5th child...He said that was it...no more. So, they did the vasectomy thing. I don't question these people's ability to hear God, so you know...that's where I stand (as of right now). Everybody just needs to hear God about their particular family and what He wants to happen. That is key though...lots of people don't even pray about it...kind of just what everybody else does...don't even consider the possibility that maybe God doesn't want them to "control" the amount of kids they have.
Anyhoo, that was long, but that's my 2 cents on the matter.
When God says its full.
Sometimes, God just wants us to trust Him. He may or may not tell you how many it will take to fill your quiver. Consider Abraham.
Good topic of conversation. Lately I've been thinking it's a matter of age for us that are a little older.....using common sense. I read that when you are in your 20's you have a 1 in 10,000chance of having a downs syndrome baby. In your 30's it's 3 in 10,000 chance and then when you turn 40 it suddenely jumps to 1 in 100 chance. I know some people have babies in their 40's and they are just fine, but common sense tells me that since we live in a fallen broken world where our bodies don't function as well at age 40...that as we start getting closer to that age we should maybe stop the risk unless God leads us differently at the time.
So, for me, since I married late and started having kids in my 30's I want to crank out as many as I can with a reasonable age gap between them before I get too close to 40. I say the more the merrier because I think it's fun to have a big family. Everyone is different. I wonder if it's a matter of how full we want our quiver to be. Sure, God can over rule that but maybe it's just partly up to us to plan how full our quiver is. Maybe we are blessed when our own individual quiver is full.....not just when the babies are overflowing the house. : ) Now you've got me thinking. If I had started having babies younger I'm not sure what the answer would be. I would probably use common sense again and only plan for as many as we could have room for in a house. Houses are expensive these days and I think it'd be wise to make sure they could all be comfortable and taken care of. Interesting topic. I might be wrong. Ultimately I'd want to do what God says. What are your thoughts?
my thoughts hmmm still working in 'em. still praying and searching...
First of all, what is a quiver? I had to look it up b/c the first picture that came into my mind was an Indian man with feathers on his head. Well, turns out, my initial thought was accurate b/c according to Mr. Webster, it is a case for holding arrows. So is our quiver our womb? And the arrows our children? Or is our quiver our car (like, I can only fit two car seats in my car so my "quiver" is at capacity with 2 kids).
On a more serious note. I am with Michawn in that it is very different for every one. For me, I have ALWAYS wanted more than 2 kids and so has Levi. But, we feel that we can't handle any more than 2. Some of you are better equipped with a sane mind and can handle more...I can't. Levi and I discussed and prayed for several months about a 3rd. We felt the answer was no. I was a little sad. Low and behold the poop hit the fan with me over the last few months (as far as my health) and I am SO very GRATEFUL that we weren't careless to throw all caution to the wind. Fact of the matter is, if you do "it" at certain times of the month without taking certain precautions then there is a good possibility that a baby will be the consequence. Keeping in mind that consequence is "something that logically or naturally follows from an action or a condition". That definition is in no way negative which is the reputation "consequence" has gotten over the years.
So, no, I don't think carelessly having sex and simply relying on God to give you however many children he thinks you need is the right thing to do. I think there are several families that will prove that if you take that approach then he will keep on giving and giving and giving, cough, Carol Williams, cough, cough. This is because babies are a natural consequence of sex. Does that mean that God doesn't have a plan for these litters of children...no! God uses everything for his good.
I do, however, think that if someone is dead set on NOT having more kids and God has other plans, then he will change their heart.
Ultimately it is consulting God and seeking his will for us. We chose a birth control method after we were given confirmation from Him that for now, we were done. We are open to adoption once the girls are older and I'm excited about that possibility but I'm also at peace with the decision we made based on God's guidance that no more babies will deform my body and come out of my who-ha.
Also, I just cleaned up a pile of diarrhea poo poo off of my freshly cleaned carpet and I feel even better about our decision! Yes, she did have a pull up on but she had a major wedgie (one whole butt cheek was visible) and it just squeezed right out!
That's what I think.
I believe this is a topic that can only be answered between a husband and wife. I think all the answers are just that, something "they" know or feel. I know the Lord will not give you more than you can handle, so for some strange reason if you were to get pregnant...you know, what they call and "opps" baby...than guess what, the Lord knows that's what you could handle. As for me, I'm getting my tubes tied up TIGHT! I want Jamie to be able to have more if for some unforeseen reason I die. I think Jamie is a great father and he wants a boy so bad that he's still thinking of adobption - I'm 100% for it. I believe once we find out the sex of this baby that will sway his mind one way or the other. I just know my body can't handle another one, heck - today has been a challenge in itself. My daugther has said "after this baby you will have another one and another one"...she's cute, but crazy!
My Doctor is wonderful. We discussed the subject of doing an amnio, which let's face it, I do not have an opinion on one way or the other. He discribed what your friend mentioned about Down's baby as a bit missleading. One has to think, most women have babies in their 20 so there are LOTS more babies in the statics than those women who have babies in thier 30s and 40s. I have a friend who's in her mid 30s and has had very healthy babies, but her sister (much younger) who's in her 20s just had her youngest pass away only after 5 months on this earth and the Dr's couldn't figure out what was wrong!
I also know that you serve the Lord and the "youth" of your church with a big heart. That in itself is a way of having more children. Think of those women who 1. can't have children and 2. still find it in them to be a servant of the Lord. That's hard = I know a good handful of women who 1. didn't get married and 2. don't have children (it does work that way for some still) and are VERY BITTER = can't be friends with women who are married and or have children.
Think of the friends your children will have. Some might come from homes that aren't so "example" like as yours. You will be a "mother" to them.
I think you already answered your question, but just thought I'd share some. I've been in so much pain the last couple days TRUST me I've been thinking at lot about what kind of mother I am right now - not idea, yet doing my best.
Ok, I really can't remember if you and I have ever discussed this or not. My beliefs on the issue are not popular, so I tend to keep them to myself unless asked. Even if we haven't talked about it, though, you probably have a pretty good idea where I stand ;)
There are many, many Christians who do lip service to trusting in the Lord and relying on Him, but never consider including Him in planning their family. It is obvious that you *are* including Him in that, and He *will* give you an answer, and a PEACE about that answer.
Liana
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