i thougt i'd post my reply to meredith's comment about vacations....
this is how i look at life...we are given one..only one. we must take every opportunity to live it to the fullest and of course spread the love of Jesus as we go. go. enjoy. vacations keep you sane. brian and i go on at least one, most of the time two, every year. you have to. work work work, isn't how it's supposed to be, in my opinion. jesus traveled. he spent His last 3 years on earth moving from place to place. yeah we should be saving and paying off debt and the Lord says we are slave to the lender. and we will in time. it'll just take us a little longer. i will say the one thing we waste our money on the most is eating out...waste, waste, waste. it makes me ill. we have gotten a little better but we average eating out about 3 times a week. 2 times too many i might add.
i humbly tip my hat to all my friends and family that are living the "dave ramsey" life. i am envious. your determination and "gut wrenching" pay off tactics are to be respected. you go w/out many luxuries in order to pay off your debt in an timely manner. My sister for example. she and levi have been on ONE vacation since they've been married and that was in honor of their 1 year anniversary in 2002. visiting family is NOT a vacation. they do not have cable/satellite. they do not eat out much if at all. she doesn't even get the luxury of taking her girls to Mother's Day Out b/c it's STUPID expensive where they live. levi works overtime every week. and they are little by little paying their debt. she's a very determined person. Michawn and Joel paid off their debt before they entered the mission field. Meredith worked very hard before she and Matt got married to pay off her debt. My parents work VERY hard at making decisions that do not have a consequence of debt. when we were growing up, mom and dad would pack a picnic lunch, drive to Bryan, and eat lunch in the park instead of going out to eat. connie and i NEVER went w/out anything. if we wanted it and it was w/in reason we got it. we never felt deprived. they were good stewards of their money and still were able to keep their two daughters in style w/ out getting into a lot of debt.
bottom line: we all have our opinions and convictions. just got to let the Lord lead.
Friday, February 8, 2008
is this all it's cracked up to be?
Posted by Steph at 10:05 PM
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9 comments:
Here's a tip I found on a great website. The website is called Lots of Kids, and I have lots of kids, so every little tip helps.
The tip:
When eating out, especially drive thru, fast food places, order just the burgers or 'main course.'
You can usually get burgers off the dollar menu.
Then buy a bag of frozen french fries and a 2-liter of soda at the grocery store. Go home, cook the fries, and enjoy your meal. Fast, simple, easy, and cheap.
For instance: I drive through Wendys.
We buy 2 burgers for each older boy, 1 for Melody, 1 for Levi, 2 for Ronnie, and 1 for me. That's a total of $7. Then we buy a bag of frozen fries, or tater tots for $2 and a 2-liter of soda for $1 (or we just drink water or tea at home).
We have spent a total of $10 on supper for a family of 6. (Sofia, as I like to say, gets her burger later!)
Hope this comes in handy for you and Brian.
I totally agree. It's different for everybody. For example, it's cheaper for Brock and I to eat out. That's only because it's just the two of us, and I don't have many "staples" at home since we travel so much. Therefore, if I were going to make lasagna when I got home, it would cost me $30 because I would have to buy EVERYTHING that goes into that lasagna. I don't even have a bag of cheese in my fridge. The other thing is that we know how to eat out. We split everything and rarely pay over $15 out the door.
The other thing is, I just learned that vacations are necessary. They help you to keep your priorities in the right place. Since we've been home, we've given more than we ever have and yet, for some reason, we have extra money. It doesn't even make sense. I admire people that are trying to pay off debt, but there comes a point where you need to LIVE life too. If I try to pay off debt, I become to obsessive about money. Honestly, I had to decide whether to pay off a small percent of our debt or go on this vacation. I don't regret my decision. It's made us better friends, better at ministry, better people in general. Sorry, I just wrote a book. I've just been thinking a lot about this lately. People are so into buying stuff and paying off debt so that they can get this or that, and it's great as long as you are not obsessed with money. It's not ours anyway. It can all be taken away in just a few seconds. The American dream is not all that it's cracked up to be. Go to another country and you will see that not everyone does it the way that we do. You'll be a better person for doing that.
Oh yeah, Ronnie and I always share a meal.
Last week, we went to the Blackeyed Pea and only paid $10 for the two of us. Some times its cheaper to eat at a sit down restaurant than it is to drive thru and eat fast food.
BTW--We probably eat out too much too, and there are 7 mouths in our house, so it can add up. But, as mentioned in the previous comment, we have learned how to save, even when we eat out.
Steph,
You keep taking those precious kids on vacations, and don't feel guilty about it! Their growing up years fly by so quickly, and you are making priceless memories. Now, I would *not* advocate going INTO debt to pay for a vacation, but if it is a question of whether to put $$ toward debt or vacation, I say take a modest vacation and chip away at the debt too. As you know, vacations don't have to be expensive. There are so many ways you can save money (plan ahead and send off for info and coupons, travel off season, picnic instead of eating out for some meals, etc) and still have a wonderful time away, without busting the budget.
I know so many people who scrimp and save when their kids are young (no vacation, etc) and then when their kids are grown and out of the house finally go on their "dream" vacation, build their "dream" house, etc. That is just sad to me. I want to enjoy life while our kids are with us! I totally understand the weekly struggle of making ends meet, and I am all for saving for the future, but if it comes down to saving for a future "dream" vacation for just the two of us, or doing something NOW with the kids...well, I choose now!
Liana
My husband oftens says (sorry if this is crude), that opinions are like hinny holes - everyone has one and most of them stink!
Yes, I do believe that staying/being/getting out of dept is biblical. I don't believe that a marriage that "banks" on a vacation isn't biblical>>>We live in a much different time than our parents or grandparents. With this in mind, we also have much more STRESS than they ever thought they had - really, if we had to hand wash all our clothing I think we'd be totally stressed out YET they knew no other way. I'm sure there were times they wished they didn't have to do it, yet went about doing it because it had to be done.
Vacation (not visiting family) is so needed in a relationship. I hate to think of those couples how never see each other because they are either both working or one is working so much overtime there is no time to be together. I worry that once they are together they won't know how to just "be". I didn't get married to be a parent alone! I didn't get married to be "alone". I also didn't get married to be miserable either. I fear this for someone close to me, her husband works every two weeks off shore etc. What happens when he's home, either they don't talk at all or they fight. NOT COOL. I see what the military can do because of these long stretches apart. Heck, one friend was like "who is the guy" that just came home after being gone a year. I think people can emotionally not be there for each other and "look" like the closest couple ever. Yes, everyone will deal/live thier life their own way - what if best for the couple/ family...yet the divorce rate isn't going down either way. I'm sure if you poled those divorced it would be a likely split of 1. how many were in deep dept, 2. how many are now happier apart than they were together, 3. how many realize they needed better family time together and 4. how many are happy they worked hard and kept out of dept. I can say if Jamie left me now our dept would be a 50/50 split since that's how we came into the marriage.
I like the tips about eating out. I also know that it was honestly cheaper for my brother and I to eat out while in college...with just two people who never ate together it would be crazy how much food went bad. We both worked an went to school and were home at all strange hours and were just different all around. It's a bit different with a husband, but it taught me some good lessons early on. We had a tub of butter for almost a year! I wasn't sure if it was good or bad? I would take food for lunch, Robert would come home for lunch. Some wives get up and make their husbands lunch. I'm sorry, but he's got two hands if he wants a sandwich he can make it himself. It also depends on expectations. My husband doesn't expect me to have dinner on the table right when he gets home. That wasn't true for my mom and dad. I only saw my dad get upset about it like twice, but he went all day sometimes (not healthy) without a good meal so he needed to eat right when we got home. My dad never made dinner. I was just talking with another couple and the husband makes most of the meals! See, very differnt from just 30 yrs ago. Sure, a grill is a mans job - but I NEVER saw my grandfather peal a potatoe.
I also spend time on the computer and recylcing and playing with Abigail and working for some people to understand WHY I don't make dinner. I must have these outlets or I'd go crazy. I've cooked either for myself or my family for almost 14 years. I HATE GROCERY SHOPPING. I've been blessed with a husband who will go with me or just go by himself and get what we need. He's really good at it and I've taught him much about bargains and coupons. I pay the bills, which again wasn't thought of for some people - a women's place isn't in the check book. NOT true for others. I've asked Jamie to take over the bills, it scares him. I don't blame him, I'd rather break a dish than forget to pay the house payment.
I could go on and on about this. I work outside the home, something I wish I didn't have to do. I only work 16 hours a week at most BUT for some mom's that's a SIN! No joke. I choose not to get defensive about it, let everyone judge as they may - I do know who my ultimate judge will be and that's all that matters in the end.
Oh I totally agree not to go into debt on a vacation. We didn't. I saved up a long time for that vacation. I'm just saying that it's a good idea to go to another country like Ecuador or somewhere and see how much you really do have. It's fun too! I encourage all of you to do that sometime when your kids are old enough to understand it. They will be changed for it. For example, if you have a Compassion kid, you can go visit your child as a family. This wouldn't be an expensive vacation either since the price of living in third world countries is minimal. The plane tickets would be what you have to save up for! Those can be a killer nowadays!
Oh, and by the way, I'm totally not dogging anybody who is paying off debt. I think that it's admirable as well. I just said that for ME, I had some money saved up and thought that it was better to go on a vacation than to pay off a little of our debt. That's all. As many of you know, we cannot seem to get out of debt. Just when we're recovering from a trailer being stolen, our truck catches on fire. Then, when we recover from that, our house floods. It's something every year for us. I cannot become too focused on it, again, Me I'm talking about or else I begin to get obsessed with money and why the Lord allows Satan to always attack our ministry financially.
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