i have someone to blame and blame i will

seeing a once vibrant laughing active woman reduced to a slump in a wheelchair is hard to take. especially since it hasn't even been two months since they first told her the cancer had spread to her spine and spinal fluid. 2 months ago she was driving goin' and doin' within a few days...i'm talkin' days here....she couldn't walk. now she cant even hold on to david as he picks her up to put her in bed. he can't do it by himself anymore. she had 10 rounds of radiation head to back and thank the Lord the pain is gone. don't know for how long. sad sad sad.

see i blame and this is the hill i will die on..the eye cancer doctor specialist in memphis. back in the summer her bad eye was hurting her so badly. this is the reason why she wanted the eye taken out. i beleive that that pain was cancer. i believe that the doctor didn't do his job. after the eye was taken out she was still in pain. we go back for a check up and he suddenly begins studying her chart. i thought that strange. then we go to the hotel and he calls her and wants her to get a sonogram done immediately when she gets back to s'port. and why didn't he want her getting one while she was there under his care...hmmmm i wonder is it because he didn't want to be faced with the truth? that the cancer is back and he missed it and now its spreading like freakin' wild fire in her body and he knows whats gonna happen? i begged her and brian to have it done while we were in memphis but that didn't happen. she gets back and gets a call that she has missed her radiation treatment. radiation treatment, where the heck did that come from. well, the memphis doctor says he told us while we were there that the cancer was back. excuse me! dont you think we would remember if someone says the cancer has come back a 3rd time in your eye. HELLO dumb dumb dummy head. sue asked brian, "did he tell us the cancer had come back?" ummmm NO. we were all there in the room. she didn't ever meet alone w/ him we were always present. sue couldn't get him to call her back or respond to her at all. sounds kinda fishy to me.

so that was back in october. so the evil cancer has been eating away at her bit by bit for the past 4 months before it was found in her spine.

you know what i want to do. i want to take a picture of sue who sorta kinda looks like herself and send it to him and say...this is what you did. you could have prevented this. he should be held responsible.

she knew there was a possibility that if the eye was taken out cancer could spread. but she was reassured it was ALL gone. we were there we heard him. and last i checked i could hear real good. real real good. so good that when ryder even takes a deep breathe in the next room i can hear him. i got mommy hearing!

so here we are. hospice has been called. not good. one doctore gave her 2 months. that was 7 weeks ago.