To: Ms. Nena, Ms. Marilyn, Ms. Gayle, and Ms. Francis...and other saline ladies:)

Thank you for the love, support, and food you have been bringing to sue and david over the past few weeks. Cindy (sue's sis-in-law) is leaving to go back home this weekend. she has been here for over a month and been cooking in between meals that aren't brought to them. she commented last night, "david can't cook. he just can't." :) thank you for ministering to them.

Sue's spirits are good. she has really good days then really bad days.

just wanted to put this out there. not sure who all from saline wonders by my blog but i just wanted to say "thank you":):):):)

okie dokie

our girl #2 in 3D!!

don't click on the pic b/c it's not clear. thats the best i could do:) well, ryder immediately cried and mattie immediately cheered. after about 5 minutes ryder warmed up to the thought of his new sis:) well maybe 10 min. he took it pretty hard. brian and i are sooo excited!

and just on the off chance that you were wondering...the scale at the dr.s office is broken. it's always broken. i never beleive what it says. it's the spawn of satan. my scale at home, on the other hand, is always correct. it reads 10lbs less than than "the dang one". i weigh 151 lbs i do NOT weigh 162 lbs. LIES LIES LIES i tell you. LIES.

now for a few more pics from Brock and Auny's Freedom Experience. well not "theirs" but you know what i mean....







mattie being comforted after the second time she hurt her arm. the first being when the skateboard rolled out from under her and she "jammed"/"fractured" her arm.


mattie being comforted by jacob. her new friend:)

now for some fun times!

me at 4 months. didn't take long to put almost 15 lbs back on:(
muddy ryder
me doin' the "spidey"
matt on the dang dirtbike. this is for you Nick, Tanya, and Trent:)
matt and ryder

Brian and Matt before the Father/Daughter Banquet

i have someone to blame and blame i will

seeing a once vibrant laughing active woman reduced to a slump in a wheelchair is hard to take. especially since it hasn't even been two months since they first told her the cancer had spread to her spine and spinal fluid. 2 months ago she was driving goin' and doin' within a few days...i'm talkin' days here....she couldn't walk. now she cant even hold on to david as he picks her up to put her in bed. he can't do it by himself anymore. she had 10 rounds of radiation head to back and thank the Lord the pain is gone. don't know for how long. sad sad sad.

see i blame and this is the hill i will die on..the eye cancer doctor specialist in memphis. back in the summer her bad eye was hurting her so badly. this is the reason why she wanted the eye taken out. i beleive that that pain was cancer. i believe that the doctor didn't do his job. after the eye was taken out she was still in pain. we go back for a check up and he suddenly begins studying her chart. i thought that strange. then we go to the hotel and he calls her and wants her to get a sonogram done immediately when she gets back to s'port. and why didn't he want her getting one while she was there under his care...hmmmm i wonder is it because he didn't want to be faced with the truth? that the cancer is back and he missed it and now its spreading like freakin' wild fire in her body and he knows whats gonna happen? i begged her and brian to have it done while we were in memphis but that didn't happen. she gets back and gets a call that she has missed her radiation treatment. radiation treatment, where the heck did that come from. well, the memphis doctor says he told us while we were there that the cancer was back. excuse me! dont you think we would remember if someone says the cancer has come back a 3rd time in your eye. HELLO dumb dumb dummy head. sue asked brian, "did he tell us the cancer had come back?" ummmm NO. we were all there in the room. she didn't ever meet alone w/ him we were always present. sue couldn't get him to call her back or respond to her at all. sounds kinda fishy to me.

so that was back in october. so the evil cancer has been eating away at her bit by bit for the past 4 months before it was found in her spine.

you know what i want to do. i want to take a picture of sue who sorta kinda looks like herself and send it to him and say...this is what you did. you could have prevented this. he should be held responsible.

she knew there was a possibility that if the eye was taken out cancer could spread. but she was reassured it was ALL gone. we were there we heard him. and last i checked i could hear real good. real real good. so good that when ryder even takes a deep breathe in the next room i can hear him. i got mommy hearing!

so here we are. hospice has been called. not good. one doctore gave her 2 months. that was 7 weeks ago.

this is the kind of mom i am. and sue update.

i laugh at my precious offsprings pain. it's true. if they fall i laugh. one of them fell out of the booth at a restaurant recently and i laughed. i laughed then i made sure he/she didn't have a broken arm or concussion. another one of them got a jump rope - being used as a rope that was used to rope a horse-stuck in their belt loop. they stood there for 10 min trying to get it unstuck. it wasn't that funny but i laughed - totally tried to act like i was laughing at the tv he/she didn't beleive me. i had tears in my eyes. oh i also -literally- snatched a piece of easter candy - the circus peanut kind that they make into pink and yellow bunnies for easter - connie knows where i'm coming from:)- out of my childs hand. i'm serious. i said he could have it then snatched it out of his hand popped it out of the wrapper and crammed it in my mouth. he cried. brian was shocked. i laughed for 10 min.
this will come back to haunt me one day.

SUE...is supposed to come home to saline today sometime. she isn't in any pain in her head but having strange pain in her big toe. she keeps fussing at David for stepping on her toe. kinda funny but not. he just plays it off. asking her if he's off of it now and if it feels better:) boy have they come a long way. they've been stuck in a hospital room for 2 1/2 weeks. they be goin' a little stir crazy. she was sleeping a lot and really drugged up the first week but the last week and a half has been a lot better. she doesn't have much upper body strength. hospice will be there when they get home so i feel a lot better about that. auny cindy (sue's brother virgil's wife) has been here for over 3 weeks and is staying. she's been good company for sue:)

ok lots goin' on...

first...my friend Melissa Beene Ford...went to etbu w/ her...found out yesterday that her 2yr old Annie has a brain tumor. wow. put her and them on any and all prayer lists available.

sue...doing better, as "better" as you can w/ cancer eating you up...sleeps lots bc of radiation but isn't in as much pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thats all for now.

the past 48 hours of just plain ole down right fun. ha.

here's a tiny window into our world from the past two days:

Monday:

*found out how much we owe the daggum irs by april 15 or we can set up a plan and get charged lots of extra money. we never owe we always get money back but not this time. ha
*dr's off calls says we owe xxxx amount and it's due at the end of may. hahaha
*find out sue was put in the hospital sunday night, need to get over there that afternoon. no "ha".
*go to lunch w/ a youth, pull out of the parking lot and hear this really strange sound coming from the engine. stop immediately brian checks it out and we barely make it across the street to the gas station/garage. hahahaha
*brian calls to tell me the other wonderful things that are wrong w/ the car, they told him it could probably make it to s'port (an hour away) but not sure. hahahahaha
*sitting on the front porch watching brian pull in on his motorcycle and notice him slow down then watch him walk the motorcycle in look over at me and shake his head. the front wheel/brake had locked up. hohoheehee
* call tanja P. she gets her husband jeremy to come over and take brian to get the car. pay xxx amount. :)
* don't make it to s'port to see his mom.
*talk to his bro and dad. bro tells him he can get parts for cheap and they can fix the car:), dad says we can borrow a vehicle till the other is fixed.:)

Tuesday:
*travel to saline, get all our stuff in his moms car, pull out, go a little ways, then the car just stops going forward. heeho. ugh.
*turn the car around barely make it up the big hill on britt hill, brian checks out the car for over an hour. cant drive the car.
* put our stuff in the truck add oil and on our way.
* make it to s'port. finally.
*his dad comes home to take a shower and stuff checks out the car and its fine. huh. hee. ho.
*his dad gives us help to put towards the baby doctor. :):):):)
*find out his bro can get car parts for a lot cheaper. :):):)

go to bed.

whew.